A Quadruplicate: Quidditch Talks and Quaffles
by bathtubblogger
Summary: The Gryffindor Quidditch team is in search of love and are determined to get it.  Four oneshots written for writing challenges. Featuring Lee Jordan, Angelina Johnson, Fred Weasley, Alicia Spinnet, and Katie Bell.
1. In Search of Romance

**Disclaimer: JKR owns everything of worth in the world. I own nothing.**

**Ok, here's the lowdown. This is a combination of four oneshots from different writing challenges, but they each stand independently. I just liked the fact that they kind of meld together into one story nicely and so I combined them for viewing (reading?) pleasure.**

**The first chapter (technically, oneshot) was written for ****HecticZ's**** challenge on ****Harry Potter Fanfiction Challenges**** forum titled ****The Rainbow Noise.**

**As for the other oneshots, well, you'll just have to read to find out!**

**My pairing was Lee Jordan and Angelina Johnson. My song was Lady Gaga's **_**Bad Romance**_**, my color was blue, and my prompt was disgust.**

**I hope you enjoy- it's pretty fluffy- not deep at all. And I really don't know how that ending happened… sometimes the things that come out of my head… (I think it was because I was watching the Bourne Identity series a few nights ago).**

**PS: It helps if you listen to the song while reading. :)**

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><p><strong>A Quadruplicate: Quidditch Talks and Quaffles<strong>

**In Search of Romance**

It was the third week of school and Angelina Johnson was already planning Lee Jordan's murder.

She had it all arranged. The next time he sauntered over and inquired, "Want to ride my broom sometime?" she would whip out her wand, yell "_Confringo_!" and not be responsible for the results.

Katie and Alicia were chatting about Quidditch tryouts during lunch when Jordan strolled up behind them, placing his hands on each of their shoulders, and grinned cheekily at Angelina.

"Hey, Johnson," he gave her a slow nod. "How about you help me with my Transfiguration homework tonight? Somewhere cozy, like a broom closet? Or maybe behind Boris the Bewildered?"

With a clenched jaw, Angelina barely managed to hiss a Repelling Jinx without losing control. When Jordan was safely forced out of the Great Hall and into a spare cabinet in the Hospital Wing, she buried her head in her arms, smearing mustard from her sandwich over her hair.

Alicia giggled profusely while Katie quietly performed a Cleaning Charm on the strands.

Angelina lifted her head from the table and glared at her amused friend.

"It's not funny," she growled at Alicia. "That's the fourth time he's asked me out in two days. I'm sick of it- he knows that I like Fred!" She huffed once more, angrily banged her elbow on her plate, and pouted.

Katie had to crack a grin at her friend's exasperation.

"Ang, you do know the only reason he's going after you is because he's jealous?" she asked, arching an all-knowing brow at her irritated friend.

"Of what? My way-too-obvious crush on Weasley Twin #1? It's pathetic. I've been flirting my butt off for a year after the Yule Ball and all I get is a permanent post in Fred's rank of best friends?"

Alicia had stopped laughing and quietly noted, "I think there's a reason you weren't placed in Ravenclaw, Angelina. You're not very observant, are you?"

"What?" Angelina turned to her, surprised. "Come on, out with it. You're not telling me something- I can always tell because your nose squishes up like Parkinson's."

"Well_,_" Alicia started, throwing an insulted look in Angelina's direction, "if you were vigilant like me, you might have noticed that _Weasley Twin #1_ has barely looked at anything besides you since the beginning of term. In fact, I believe he's looking at you right now."

Sure enough, when Angelina peered behind her shoulder, Fred was gazing at her. She felt a slight flush rise to her cheeks and her stomach started knotting.

"You guys," she groaned, turning back to the pair. "He's only looking over here because he wants to know what Lee was asking."

Her friends rolled their eyes at her denial, and secretly Angelina hoped that they were right.

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><p>Of course Lee knew all this. Fred was crushing on Angelina Johnson, the most eligible girl in seventh year, and the Gryffindor beauty was falling right back.<p>

Lee Jordan was fabricated in the same mold as Alicia Spinnet- not much escaped his notice. He may have looked only comical and entertaining on the outside, but his eye caught everything.

He knew she was off limits.

Yet he couldn't stop himself from wandering up to their section of the table every day at lunch, smile gallantly, and ask the girl out.

He was always met with a rejection and most of the times with a jinx. But everyone had to admit- the kid was persistent. He would continue asking until he received a satisfactory answer. Lee was mulling over this Johnson puzzle in the Hospital Wing cabinet, when suddenly, the idea struck him over the head with enough force to knock him off his feet.

He let out a large shriek, bolted out of the cabinet (terrifying Madame Pomfrey and three second years), and hurried up to his dorm.

He would work through the night to get everything set up. With a plan this complex, it was impossible for her to say no!

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><p>When the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain strode into the Great Hall the next morning with Alicia at her side, she was met with a sight that froze both her feet and her vocal chords.<p>

A giant blue balloon floated above the Gryffindor table, merrily twinkling out the words: "Angelina- Roses are red, violets are blue, please give me a chance, cause we'd make a Bad Romance."

Lee Jordan marched to the music on the tabletop, belting out lyrics to a pounding beat. He was clad in red spandex tights and a Gryffindor jersey, swaying and gyrating to the rhythm of the song. He had clumsily sewn what appeared to be Ravenclaw blue legwarmers to the armholes of his jersey, and had scrunched them up around his elbows. He also sported a magnificent navy cummerbund tied around his waist haphazardly.

He looked like a freak.

When it became apparent to the general assembly that the girl in question had arrived (it seemed all of Hogwarts was crowded around the table) they eagerly pushed Lee towards the mute girl.

"Ask her, Lee! Ask her!" they screamed, reaching star-struck hands up to touch the seventh year. Lee was unceremoniously thrust into the circle now forming around Angelina and him.

"Hi Johnson," Lee greeted her with a silly smile plastered on his face. "I have a song for you."

"No," Angelina breathed. Somehow her voice had crept back slowly as the shock wore off. "Oh Merlin, Lee… what did you do?"

Jordan, however, pretended not to hear her and merely ran a hand smoothly through his dreadlocks, which were sticking straight up in the air with magic. He turned his back to her and the Great Hall was suddenly dimmed. A wavering spotlight came to shine at the back of his head.

With a monstrous clap, Lee whipped around and commenced a lyrical, twirling dance around the circle, screaming out the words as he went, matching the clapping of his hands to the beat.

"Ra-ra-ah-ah-aha, roma, roma, ma, Gaga, ooh la la- want your bad romance! I want your ugly, I want your disease. I want your everything, as long as it's free. I want your love, love, love, love. I want your love."

Angelina was thoroughly repulsed when Lee started prancing toward her, pouting with large lips. She could feel the blood rushing hot and red to her cheeks.

"I want your drama, the touch of your hand. I want your leather-studded kiss in the sand. I want your love, love, love love. You know that I want you, and you know that I need you. I want it bad, bad romance."

Lee had started to crawl on his hands and knees around the circle, coming ever nearer to Angelina. She gripped her wand in her pocket, feeling her temper rise.

She was going to _get him_.

At the chorus, Lee jumped to his feet and twisted his hips in a complicated, seductive manner. Angelina wanted to bury into the ground and cry, but the collected students started screaming even louder.

"I want your love and I want your revenge, you and me could write a bad romance! I want your love and all your love is revenge. You and me could write a bad romance. Oh caught in a bad romance!"

Lee had come full circle by now, and to Angelina's complete and utter embarrassment had weaved his hips into synch with her own. When his hand reached up to entwine itself in her hair, she finally pushed him away.

The Blasting Cure did its job; Lee was flung twenty feet through the air, crashing into the Hufflepuff table.

"What was that?" she shrieked, her wand pointing threateningly at the boy.

"I might ask the same of you," Lee groaned, rubbing his head where he had banged it. "That," he continued, stumbling back into the ring, "was me asking you out through interpretive dancing. Did you like it? It's a new song by Lady Gaga called Bad Romance."

Angelina was incredibly aware of the desire to decapitate Jordan but she also knew that she was in front of everyone. She took a deep breath, but her voice still came out loud and harsh.

"Who's _Lady Gaga_?" she asked, hardly believing she was having this conversation. _I am going to kill him_.

"She's a witch who makes her money in the Muggle World. She's actually a Metamorphmagus who got signed by an American Muggle label- she's good, right?"

"Agh!" Angelina screamed. "You're disgusting, Lee! I can't believe you did this." Angelina realized she was almost on the edge of tears. "And my final answer, Jordan," she snarled, trying to contain her trembling voice, "is no!"

With that, Angelina stalked out of the Hall. As soon as she was out of sight, she raced up the stairs to the Gryffindor common room. It was deserted, and she collapsed on the loveseat, sobbing.

Jordan had taken it too far this time. How could she face anyone at school ever again?

She was crying too heavily to hear the portrait creak open. When Fred reached his arm around her, she only wept harder into his shoulder.

"You've got to admit, it was a pretty good dance."

"Oh shut up," she sniffled through her tears, punching his arm.

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><p><em>Covert Operations Report<em>

The Subject performed a Blasting Curse on the Operative. The Operative was badly hit on the head, but his pride was the thing that smarted the most.

The Subject began dating Weasel. The Operative was sad, but enjoyed his new status as Official Hogwarts Pop Star.

The Operative is going to get the Subject, one way or another. He already has a plan cooking inside his head.

Signing off,

River.

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><p><strong>AN: So there was that amazingly crazy piece of random fluff. Please R&R, constructive criticism greatly welcomed.**


	2. Painting the Town Red and Gold

**Disclaimer: I disclaim.**

**This is not in order. This is actually the fourth chapter, but it's due first. I will add the second and third chapters tomorrow.**

**This was written for Somber Evening Ballad's challenge on Harry Potter Fanfiction Challenges forum titled Panic! At the Disco. A Challenge!**

**My pairing was Katie/Cormac. ****My location was the Quidditch Pitch. ****She thankfully let me change my time to three weeks before the end of term, because it would have coincided with Dumbledore's death. ****My song was The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide Is Press Coverage. ****My prompt was Lady Gaga.**

**This involves Katie panicking, a giant Gryffindor party, and my inspiration for Cormac was the line: "Oh, we're still so young, desperate for attention."**

**Word Count: somewhere in the 1400s.**

**Enjoy :)**

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><p><strong>A Quadruplicate: Quidditch Talks and Quaffles<strong>

**Painting the Town Red and Gold**

Katie Bell was in the process of disappearing.

It's not so easy as one might think. Being rather attractive, as Katie was, boys took notice of her.

She was still in her uniform, so that might have helped people track her- when the wind blew in the right direction, they got a rather unpleasant whiff of sweat mixed with Miss Enchantment's perfumed body lotion.

The fact that she was wearing a giant, golden, shimmering Snitch on her head didn't help either.

"Bell! Wait up!" she heard the detestable voice shout through the din again.

A shot of adrenaline propelled her over a railing, and she tumbled to the grass ten feet below. Muttering unintelligible insults, she hurried through the shadowy planks underneath the stadium, hoping this would keep her concealed long enough to desert the party.

Squinting out from behind a thick peeling post, she spotted the repulsive figure of Cormac McLaggen, smoothing his wavy blonde hair from his pristine forehead and looking puzzled, a baffled smile smothering his face.

He pulled a few fourth years aside and motioned in the direction of the stairs. He seemed to be asking where she was, but thankfully the fourth years simply shrugged and walked away.

With a last confused survey of the area, Cormac sauntered back towards the center of the party, assuring himself that Katie would eventually show up, dreamily fall into his arms, and beg to go out with him.

Once she was positive he was gone, she slipped out from behind the pillar and scurried down to the unoccupied end of the stadium, far out of reach of the magical lights, which were beaming vibrant colors wildly on the dancers.

She sighed. How had today turned so suddenly rotten?

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><p>It was a lethargic, unflustered day in the beginnings of May, with the potential to become savage. This particular Saturday was the final match between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw, and the victorious team would win the Quidditch Cup. All houses were tense with anticipation; Gryffindor and Ravenclaw quarreled from the moment breakfast was served.<p>

As several fifth years were carted off to the Hospital Wing and Madam Pomfrey's generous care, Katie entered the Great Hall, intent on eating a healthy, well-balanced meal. It was her pre-game ritual: lots of yogurt, a roll, and plenty of protein to keep her energized. She plopped down in a seat next to Ginny, who was just finishing her pumpkin juice.

"Morning, Gin," she greeted the youngest Weasley. "Ready for the game?"

Grumbling, Ginny stuffed a last bit of pastry into her mouth. "Ready for me to miss the Snitch, you mean?"

Chuckling, Katie reached across Demelza for a pitcher. "You'll be fine. You're an excellent Seeker- probably not as fast as Harry, but you're still an asset. Dean's filling in as Chaser, so we'll still get loads of goals. You just need to be focused, that's all."

"Speaking of focused," Ginny whispered in Katie's ear, "McLaggen's headed this way. Want me to dump your juice on his pants?"

Katie groaned. Cormac had been catching her in awkward conversations a lot lately. Mostly she tried to agree with his pompous statements and escape as quickly as possible.

With a small shake of her head at Ginny, Katie grimaced and faced the approaching threat. Cormac stopped behind Demelza, pushing his fingers through perfectly tousled waves.

"Hey Katie," he nodded, a slight leer marring his otherwise handsome face. "Ready to beat Ravenclaw? It's a shame though, that the idiot Weasley is still playing Keeper. I hope we don't lose because of him."

Gritting through her teeth, Katie hissed, "I'm sure Ron will do fine, McLaggen. Probably much better that you would have," she muttered to Demelza.

"Pardon?" Cormac questioned, his smile faltering slightly.

"Oh, nothing!" Katie exclaimed brightly. "Just saying that the weather's glorious for the match."

"Hmmmm," Cormac agreed, his brows scrunching together. "Yes, well, good luck. I'll be watching from the stands. If you need any help with the game plan since Potter's gone, don't hesitate to call a time out and fly on over."

"Of course," Katie promised falsely. "I'll do that. Yes, definitely. Bye. See you Cormac. Later. _Good bye!"_

Whimpering, Katie turned back to her teammates, her expression of annoyance and agony blatant on her face.

"Why?" she inquired pleadingly, staring at the two girls. "Please, just tell me _why_, if you have an explanation!"

Demelza snickered. "Katie, you should be worshiping on your hands and knees right now. At least he's just in the stands, instead of on the pitch."

Ginny gave an affirmative noise. "Thank Merlin for that. Who knows what might happen with McLaggen loose? Maybe this time he'd decapitate someone instead of simply cracking their skull."

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><p>Gryffindor won.<p>

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><p>Cheering loudly, the team was borne into the Common Room on a wave of admiring hands.<p>

Someone excitedly yelled out, "Party! Come down to the Quidditch Pitch!"

It seemed the whole of Gryffindor Tower had emptied out onto the Pitch at first, but the majority of the first, second, and third year students had wandered off. By now it was darkening into early evening, and with the sunset came a multitude of magical strobe lights and magnifying speakers.

Soon the party was in full swing, the music echoing around the stadium. Katie was screaming noisily along with the lyrics, flanked by Demelza and Seamus. Someone had presented her with a large, glowing Snitch hat, which she eagerly donned.

They were madly dancing to "Bad Romance", which had quickly become the Gryffindor House anthem after Lee's infamous performance in the Great Hall last year. She was so busy twirling about that she didn't notice Cormac slide up behind her.

Demelza made anxious, frantic gestures but it was too late. Wrapping her hand in his, Cormac pulled her closer to him and away from the pulsing center of the dancers.

"What are you doing?" she shrieked, unsuccessfully trying to rip her arm from his tight grasp.

"Shhhh," he hushed, twisting his muscled forearm behind her waist and pressing her against his chest. "I just want to dance with you, Katie."

"Get off!" she roared, desperately attempting to pry free. "I don't want to dance with you, McLaggen!"

He clutched her flailing fists in his.

"But you like me," he whispered hotly into her ear.

"Whatever gave you that idea?" she bellowed, eventually locating her wand tucked deep into her uniform. "Get your hands of me or I'll hex you," she hissed, pointing her wand threateningly in his direction.

His eyes widened in surprise, and he swiftly disentangled his hands from her twisted uniform.

With an ugly snort of finality, she whipped around and stalked off, fuming. How dare he touch her like that? How dare he assume that she liked him? What even gave him that impression?

She walked around the edge of the pitch for a bit, to collect her thoughts and cool her temper.

It was then that she heard his voice piteously calling for her. She immediately sped off, and that was the start of the chase. It had continued through Katie's increasingly drastic efforts to throw off the relentless Cormac. She had clustered with a group of fifth years, gathered in a mass pack of sixth year boys, and even cowered behind Neville for a while. She had come to the conclusion that she just needed to be as far away from Cormac as possible, and that was how she managed to find herself a small seat on the opposite end of the pitch, nestled in a tiny alcove where the teachers usually sat.

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><p>She was gazing off into space, and so didn't notice the person wandering in her direction across the vast, empty expanse of the field. By the time she realized Cormac was almost directly underneath her, she had very little time. Flinging herself off the bench, she raced around to the back stairs and nearly tripped on the way down.<p>

Dashing across the empty field, she wished that he wasn't close behind. She breathed a sigh of weary relief when the tireless dancers once more camouflaged her from his searching eyes.

She spent the rest of the night huddled between Cootes and Peake, jumping at every accidental brush, and downing large amounts of firewhiskey to calm her jumpy nerves.

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><p>The next morning was not pleasant.<p>

Katie decided it was too hard being a chameleon.

Three days later, Cormac was wading through the mob in the hallway, his sight set on Katie.

Dean nudged her, and without further ado she slipped her wand out of her pocket and sent a Confundus Charm in McLaggen's direction.

It was a rather funny sight.

"I feel kind of bad for him," she sighed. "But he's still a fool, so I don't feel too bad."

Laughing, Katie disappeared into the throng once more.

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><p><strong>AN: So I hate the ending, but whatever. Review please? :)**


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